Joseph J. Calandra
Joseph Calandra, obtained from his online obituary page.
Joseph J. Calandra was born on November 25, 1960. Raised by “two wonderful parents who loved him to the moon and back” — a description offered by Carol Clark, a first cousin, on his tribute page — Joseph had a childhood saturated with loving, supportive family in the New York area.
“Joseph was always the youngest,” Norma Fletcher, the oldest of the “Napolitano cousin[s],” recalled on the tribute wall. As the eldest of the generation, Norma often fell into the role of babysitter. Describing how she cared for Joseph when he was six months old, Norma recalled, “I will forever remember that small hand in mine as I walked him to bed. He was in his feeted pjs looking up at me and telling me how much he loved me. He would tell me he wanted to marry me because he loved me so much. I would kiss him and tell him how much I loved him & that I would be an old lady by the time he was old enough to marry.”
Norma also wrote about the “countless times watching him at the beach or helping fish up at Bear Mountain Lake.” She detailed the “bear hugs he gave just like Uncle Sal did.”
As he got older, Joseph traded in “feeted pjs” for more mature accessories: toy soldiers, for instance, or monopoly. John Artale, another of Joseph’s loving family members, wrote a moving tribute on Joseph’s obituary page detailing their time together as young boys in the basement of John’s house in the Bronx. Though cousins, Joseph and John “were like brothers growing up.” The two boys often converted this Bronx basement into Victorian England; no longer Joseph and John, “Joe was always Sherlock and [John] was Watson.” When not celebrated British detectives, the two played with toy soldiers or played chess or monopoly, “which no one could ever beat Joe at.”
Yet another cousin, Gail Obenaulf, wrote on the tribute wall about “the wonderful times spent growing up together with Joseph and my cousins. Joseph was the youngest of my cousins,” she explained, “and sometimes had a hard time keeping up. We lost him once when we were running and he found his way back by describing to a neighbor that he belonged at ‘Uncle Fred’s house who was fat and smoked cigars.’” Once, Joseph and three of the other cousins, Gail added, “painted the dog’s mouth with red lipstick and put a sign around her neck saying ‘Kiss me, you fool!’ and sent her to visit the adults.”
Joseph Calandra, obtained from his online obituary page.
Joseph moved to Florida as a teenager in 1974. Though his cousins back in New York missed him, they “always managed to keep in touch.” John recalled seeing Joseph “several times” after the move; even when the excitement of Sherlock and chess and monopoly faded, John “really enjoyed his company.”
In Florida, Joseph built a life for himself. He had “two wonderful sons,” Christopher and Brad, whom Carol described as “wonderful and loving boys (men now).” Joseph became a teacher; he shared the courses, programs, and curricula he developed with his eldest cousin Norma — whose role as babysitter had morphed into one of mentor — to seek her guidance. “I loved his letters & still have them all,” Norma wrote. “I will continue to reread them when I miss him.”
Though he spent 28 years behind bars, Joseph’s family members describe how he always remained positive, committed to his family and to those around him. “I always enjoyed getting his emails,” Carol wrote. “He was so uplifting and positive about things… He never showed signs of hate or anger. He was respected by all the other men incarcerated. When I would visit he would introduce me and they always had something nice to say about him. I really wish that he would have had the chance of parole, I believe that he would have done so much for so many people. He was a hard working man and I believe he still would have been. I can only imagine what he had to endure in his lifetime.”
“I feel terrible that he never got to spend quality time with his grandchildren in the real world,” Carol added at the end of her tribute. “I will miss him with all my heart, and I loved him so much.”
Norma, too, remembered “Joseph as the kind, sweet, loving person he always was.” And Gail will never forget “the good that he tried to do with the last 20+ years of his life and his warmth and the wonderful hugs he always gave and his beautiful letters.”
Robert Tall, the Council Chairman of Kairos Prison Ministry at Charlotte Correctional, corroborated the kind words of Joseph’s family members in his own tribute. Robert described Joseph as “a blessing to get to know and be around. His strength as a Christian was evident.”
Joseph passed away, having been infected with COVID-19, on July 15, 2020. His death, a byproduct of the carelessness and inhumanity of Florida’s Department of Corrections and other state authorities, was avoidable. We stand with Joseph’s family and friends in mourning the passing of a warm, loving, and remarkable man.
This memorial was written by MOL team member Frances Keohane with information from an online obituary page and reporting by Jonathan Kendall of the Miami New Times.
